#223 Lion Nathan – Stella Artois

Stella Artois Name: Stella Artois
Brewery: Lion Nathan (NZ)
Style: Pale Lager
ABV: 5.2%
Source: The campervan

As you might have noticed, I’ve been motoring my way, rather inelegantly, through the mass-produced pale lagers recently.

I say ‘inelegantly’ because each post is kind of lazy. I say something along the lines of: “It tastes fizzy, watery, of cereal, metal, and hay, just like all the rest.”

I really wish I could tell the difference between these lagers, and could offer some more useful insight into which of them is the best. I think of those I’ve reviewed so far I (confusingly) like DB Export Dry the most, followed by Becks. But it’s hard to be sure.

The fact of the matter is that they are all very similar, but I’ve at least worked out that the circumstance I drink them in makes a difference.

I’m still always grateful for a chilled lager, any kind, when it’s blisteringly hot and I’m thirsty. I usually gulp down the first half as if it were water, and then get bored of it just as I get to the end. I never feel like more than one, but that first sip is always magic.

But when it’s not hot and I’m not thirsty, and I’m only drinking it because I’m stuck in a campervan and I’ve just remembered I haven’t done my beer of the day, and this is the only thing onboard except for Coopers which I’ve already blogged, and it’s a bit warm because the ice packs in the chilli bin have all melted…. well. Then getting a pale lager down can really be a battle.

Ergo, this particular bottle of Stella was gross, but had it been cold, and had I been dehydrated, I would have enjoyed it. Or at least the first half of it. The first sip definitely. 

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Published in: on March 22, 2012 at 5:14 pm  Leave a Comment  
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#215 Lion Nathan – Steinlager Classic

Steinlager Classic Name: Steinlager Classic
Brewery: Lion Breweries (Lion Nathan Co.)
Style: Lager
ABV: 5%
Source: Finn

The best thing about this beer – hell, the only good thing about this beer – was that I drank it out of the fancy pilsner glass that I had bought at the beginning of the blog and forgot about.

The other good thing I suppose, is that I’ve got it out of the way now and I don’t have to drink it again.

I’ve just realise that I don’t think I’ve ever bought a Steinlager in my life, which probably means that I’m not even a real New Zealander, or something. This one came from Finn (who has proudly disproved my theory that once people start drinking craft beer they stop buying commercial lager), and any others that I’ve tried have been given to me free at events.

That’s not really very interesting, is it? But I need filler for the post because I have no idea what to say about the beer. It tastes like every other damn lager in a green bottle I’ve ever tried. Hay. Grass. Grain. Sugar. You’ve heard it all before and you’ll hear it again if I get round to reviewing Stella Artois.

In other news (read: filler) I booked some flights to Melbourne and a ticket to the Sunday session of GABS (Great Australasian Beer Spectapular) in May. Look at all the great beers that will be there! I can’t wait. I’m actually a bit low on beer-geek buddies over the ditch though, so if you’re going to be there and you’re a nice beer person rather than an internet stalker, feel free to holla!

Published in: on March 13, 2012 at 4:43 pm  Comments (3)  
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#175 Lion Nathan – Beck’s

Beck'sName: Becks
Brewery: Lion Nathan (Canterbury Brewery, New Zealand)
Style: Lager
ABV: 4.8%
Source: Laneways music festival

Yes, I know. Booooring. But I had no choice! I was at a music festival, it was hot as hell, and this was the best only beer on offer. What was a girl to do?

Before I get on to the beer, notice how I look a bit crazy in the photo. It gives you some indication of the sun-induced delirium that I was suffering – bought on by 10 hours of doing the indie shuffle and not a patch of shade to shuffle in.

When you’re in that frame of mind, even a cold Becks in a plastic cup that took you an hour to buy because you lined up for 30 minutes in one queue and then was told when you got to the front that you couldn’t pay with cash and had to line up in a different queue to buy coupons and then line up again for the beer, seems like a godsend.

Godsend is exaggerating, but it wasn’t completely awful. I marginally prefer Beck’s to Heineken and Stella Artois, even though I bloody hate those ‘she is a thing of beauty’ billboards. Do I need to describe what it tasted like? Probably not. It was like a lager, and it was cold and fizzy and yes – it was wet too. I was hot and dry and thirsty, so I guzzled it gratefully and lined up again (twice) like a sucker.

Despite all my grizzling, the Laneway festival was actually pretty great and I’m sure I’ll go again. I just hope (are you listening organizers? Probably not) that there is some actual good beer next year.

Published in: on February 2, 2012 at 3:26 pm  Comments (2)  
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