#205 DB – Monteith’s Black

My photo got deleted from my phone. I did NOT have a six-pack.

Name: Black
Brewery: Monteiths Brewing Company (owned by DB Breweries)
Style: Shwarzbier
ABV: 5.2%
Source: CheeseFest

My stepmum had this really cool idea of doing a 0% alcohol beer for February 29th since its kind of a non-day (apologies if it’s your birthday, you poor sod), but things didn’t quite work out and I ended up doing something much less interesting instead.

As a matter of principle I try to avoid buying Monteith’s (or other DB) beers at any cost – to the point where I have bought some very bad beer simply because it was the only alternative. I don’t think I need to explain why – anyone beer nerdy enough to read this blog will be sick of the whole Radler thing by now – but lets just say I think DB are Douche Bags and leave it at that. (And also Dick Brains, and Dumb Bums, and any other witty DB’s you can think of. There are a lot, so have fun with it!)

Occasionally though, I find myself in situations where the beer is free and there’s no other choice. That’s how my ‘beer of the day’ came to be a fifth of a Monteiths Black, drunk from a plastic cup at the Monteiths CheeseFest.

On the nose it was kind of promising – some chocolatey, espresso notes, perhaps a little fruit even. In the mouth it was OK – I got sugary caramel and a little roasty bitterness at the finish, but it was a bit watery, and the flavour seemed to shirk away, unceremoniously, at the finish.

To be honest, this really isn’t a bad beer for the price. I can see why so many Kiwis would include this or others from the Monteiths range in their weekly shop, because it’s cheapish and it does actually have some flavor.

But that’s doesn’t excuse DB for being Dick Bags, Dirt Balls, Ding Bats, etc, so I won’t ever be one of them.

(PS – If you like Monteith’s black but don’t want to give your money to those Donkey Butts, I suggest Cooper’s Stout as a similarly priced, much more delicious and completely non-evil dark beer.)

(PPS – sorry about this awful post. Friday afternoon innit.)

Published in: on March 2, 2012 at 3:57 pm  Comments (2)  
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#101 Tui – East India Pale Ale

Can of Tui BeerName: East India Pale Ale
Brewery: DB Breweries (Mangatainoka, New Zealand)
Style: IPA (?)
ABV: 4%
Source: Kapiti Island Lodge

Honest to God – I have never been so grateful for a beer in my life.

That may come as a surprise, as Tui is obviously not the most glamorous of beers to appear on the blog, but it saved me from what was very nearly my first Beer For a Year failure.

I was staying the night on Kapiti Island you see – a barely inhabited nature reserve that is chock with fat, tasty looking birds that you can’t eat because they’re endangered. I had been supposed to sail there in the afternoon (after buying a beer in Paraparaumu to take over) but the sea forecast had been rough and I’d had to go first thing before the bottle shops opened. Long story short – I was trapped on an island, I didn’t have any beer – and I was freaking out about it messing up the blog.

Then mercifully at about 6.00, just as I was starting to consider a swim to Coastlands, the chef at the lodge offered us a drink. I said “God yes! Beer please!” and he bought me a Tui (which is actually the perfect thing to drink on Kapiti Island, if you think about it.)

I didn’t take a photo because my phone was back at my cabin and besides, I didn’t feel like being all “don’t mind me, I’m just photographing my beer because I’m a beer blogger” in front of the other tourists, so I had to just steal this from the net.

The beer itself didn’t taste like a whole lot – it smelled of  sweet malt, and it tasted of sweet malt, with a bit of a cereal note and only the faintest dose of hop bitterness at the finish. An India Pale Ale? Yeah right.

BUT – whatever. I was so pleased to have it that I enjoyed every sip, and would have had an another had there been one on offer. I guess it just goes to show that there’s a time for every beer – and being stuck on an island with no other options is a pretty good time for a Tui.

Published in: on November 20, 2011 at 9:01 am  Leave a Comment