#276 Carlton & United Breweries – Victoria Bitter

Name: Victoria BitterA dire photo for a dire situation
Brewery: Carlton & United Breweries (Melbourne, VIC)
Style: Pale Lager
ABV: 4.6%
Source: Flight NZ123

This was the worst, the absolute fucking worst beer-drinking experience of all time.

I was on the plane, squished in by the window with two people between me and the aisle, and I needed to pee.

Now, I know peeing on a plane is not a huge deal – most people would have just  gone at the first sign of nature’s call – but I have this weird phobia of bothering strangers. I didn’t want to make the people next to me stand up and get out of their seats, so I just sat there like a chump waiting for it to get worse.

And then eventually, when it was really time to go, I saw the dinner cart approaching. This forced me into a new dilemma: get up, make a nuisance of myself and risk missing my food (or at least the beef option), or stay imprisoned in my seat until dinner was over.

Like an idiot I chose the latter option. And to make things worse, I had to order a beer  because this was my only chance to get one in before midnight.

Every sip, which I took with a kind of angry determination, was pure torture. The beer tasted like watery piss (the piss I wasn’t having), and turned me into a tense, squirming wreck. Eventually when the alarm bells grew too loud to ignore, I realized I was going to have to take action.

“Excuse me” I said to the two people next to me, who were busy tucking into their stroganoff and wine.

“I know this is awfully bad timing, but I think I’d better use the loo.”

Published in: on May 19, 2012 at 2:48 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. This was as brilliant as the situation was tragic. I walked around my flat and relayed your story to great effect. I love how a bad beer — my favourite bad beer, if I have to admit such things — can lead to a great story.

  2. Bad beer experiences create great stories, it seems!

  3. Hahaha awesome. I fucking love VB.

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