#189 BrewDog – Trashy Blonde

Name: Trashy Blonde
Brewery: Brewdog (Aberdeen, Scotland)
Style: Blond Ale
ABV:4.1%
Source: The Beer Store

On Monday I came home from work to find the best thing ever waiting for me.

Was it a kitten? A surprise tax refund? My boyfriend with a candlelit dinner of Mac ‘n Cheese? No (although all of those things WOULD have been awesome) – it was a box of fancy beers from The Beer Store.

Dad saw me hit rock bottom a few posts back with that can of Gordon Finest Gold, and came to my rescue by ordering me 12 awesome beers online. They came with a card that said “The West is to share”, which I guess means Westvleteren only he forgot how to spell it.

Anyway, the Trashy Blonde was obviously a bit of a joke about me being trashy  blonde, but it turned out to be really nice as well as a bit funny.

It reminded me a little of a New Zealand Pale Ale – lots of tootie-fruity hops on the nose (you know the ones – passionfruit n citrus n flowers n that), a light malty sweetness in the mouth and a dry, bitter finish. It was fun and went down easy – which suits the name I s’pose…

What I really liked about this one is that it packed lots of punch while still only being 4.1%, meaning I could drink lots of it without actually getting all trashy. Always a bonus.

#174 BrewDog Nøgne Ø Mikkeller – Black Tokyo* Horizon

Name: Black Tokyo Horizon
Brewery: BrewDog with Nøgne Ø & Mikkeller
Style: Imperial Stout
ABV: 17.2%
Source: Hashigo Zake

Here it is guys – the most expensive beer on Beer for a Year to date, and probably the most expensive beer I’ll ever drink unless someone buys me something even fancier for my birthday. Which is in April. April 18th, FYI.

Obviously if you’re one of the elite crowd who has supped an End of History or Tactical Nuclear Penguin, then this beer will seem neither boozy or pricey to you. But for me? Spending $45 on a 350ml bottle seemed more than a bit extravagant.

I probably wouldn’t have bought it except that I was already phenomenally pissed when I did (I got it at Hashigo Zake – go figure), and it was actually a gift for my Dad’s 60th. He kindly followed my instructions not to open the beer without me, and bought it to the wedding in Greytown we were at on the weekend to share it.

It poured thick and black, with the teensiest little head – a bit like an espresso.

It smelled like molasses mostly, as well as roasty coffee, dark fruits and bitter coffee.

In the mouth it was sweet and syrupy, with more coffee, chocolate, and soy sauce and a really bitter, citrussy hop finish. The alcohol was well-hidden considering it was 17.2%, but there was a pleasing alcohol burn after it had slipped down my throat.

It was sort of evil somehow, but in a good way. We tried to share some with the rest of the family but they thought it was a bit much for midday drinking before a wedding (pansies), so we finished the lot. I wasn’t going to let a drop of $45 beer go to waste!

And here’s my glass afterwards, which had at least 75c worth still clinging to the sides:

#81 BrewDog – Punk IPA

Name: Punk IPA
Brewery: Brewdog (Aberdeenshire, Scotland)
Style: IPA
ABV: 6%
Source: Brew on Quay (Auckland)

Yesterday, (under the misguided impression that Epic’s new Flying Nun beer would be on tap), I headed down to Brew on Quay to mark the end of the working week with a pint.

Because it was actually Epic’s regular ol’ Pale Ale that was pouring (for just $6.50 a pint!), and because I’d already ticked that one off the list, I went for this Punk IPA from Brewdog instead. I’d had one beer from these guys before, the Hardcore IPA, and I remember thinking that one was ridiculously good.

It poured a slightly hazy amber and had a frothy white head which lasted quite well. It smelled to me like an APA – by which I mean citrussy American hops (grapefruit & pine), and a real treacley/golden syrupy malt. I may have been a bit off with this interpretation though, because I see the brewery (and the ratebeer crowd) describe aromas of lychee, kiwi and passionfruit. I’m not sure…

It tasted similar, but with a really noticeable cereal flavour as well. I actually wrote down ‘Chex’ which is an American cereal that I had once when I was about 9 and for some reason it keeps popping up in my beers – but I think Luke (he was there for the cheap pints of Epic ) described it more accurately when he said it was grainy. It also had a nice citrusy bite and a dry, lightly bitter finish.

I definitely enjoyed the punk, but much prefer it’s bigger, bolder brother – Hardcore IPA. This one is more sessionable I guess, but that other one is just such a pleasure to drink.

The one problem I had with this beer – and it doesn’t really matter but I’m going to say it anyway, was the description on the label. It just seemed a bit obvious and smarmy and not very punk somehow… Especially that line in red:

“This is not a lowest common denominator beer. This is an aggressive beer. We don’t care if you don’t like it. We do not merely aspire to the proclaimed heady heights of conformity through neutrality or blandness. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste of the sophistication to appreciate the depth, character and quality of this premium craft beer. You probably don’t even care that this rebellious beer contains no preservatives and uses only the finest natural ingredients. Just go back to drinking your mass marketed, bland, cheaply made watered down lager, and close the door behind you”.

It’s a good beer… Just let it speak for itself I say!

*closes door behind her*

#52 BrewDog – Hardcore IPA

Name: Hardcore IPA
Brewery: BrewDog (Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire, Scotland)
Style: Imperial IPA
ABV: 9.2%
Source: The Beer Store

Last night I sat down at my computer after drinking this beer and wrote four words: “Oh God. So strong,” before abandoning the post to have a lie-down.

It shows I’m a bit of a wuss because 9.2% isn’t really that strong – not when you consider that this same brewery has made the world’s strongest beer ever. It’s called The End of History and it’s a whopping 55 percent -  stronger than most whiskey! And as if that’s not batshit crazy enough, get this:

“Only 12 bottles have been made and each comes with its own certificate and is presented in a stuffed stoat or grey squirrel. The striking packaging was created by a very talented taxidermist and all the animals used were road kill. “  – from the BrewDog website.

I don’t know even know what to say about that… except that I WANT ONE. Seriously, what would be better to have as my 365th beer than one that’s called “The End of History” and would require me to kiss roadkill?

Anyway, it’s not going to happen because of the whole only-twelve-in-the-world thing and the fact that it’s also the world’s most expensive beer. Hmph.

But back to last night’s beer, which was obviously quite strong enough for me anyway…

It poured a golden orange colour which was hazy with heaps of sediment all through it. The sediment wasn’t sinking to the bottom either – it was just sat there (as the English would say) like it was set in jelly.

It smelled really good. Juicy and sweet, with orange and pine hops and strong malt.

The taste took me completely by surprise, much sweeter, maltier, more syrupy than I was expecting (now I know why that sediment wasn’t moving), and then citrusy bitterness, a dry finish, and and warm alcohol heat as it travelled down my throat. It was solid, interesting and enjoyable every step of the way, and as a result I drank it way too quickly.  

This is definitely a beer to be careful with, which is why I was amused to hear that The Malthouse have got four kegs of it to put on for the Quarter-Finals weekend. Best of luck to them!