#229 Harviestoun – Bitter & Twisted

Name: Bitter and Twisted
Brewer: Harviestoun (Alva, Scotland)
Style: Golden Ale
ABV: 4.2%
Source: The Beer Store

On Sunday afternoon I had about 10 friends over for the second round of ‘Lucky Beer Club’, which is basically an excuse for me to gather people together and force them to enjoy my hobby with me. It’s marvelous fun!

I meant to be super organised and order some wacky mind-blowing stuff from the beer store, but instead I ended up racing around town (Vic Park NW, Galbraith’s, and the newly-discovered and amazing Newmarket liquorland) gathering bottles the day before. I mostly chose things that I thought people would like, plus a few things to make them go “Wooaah duuuuude! Is this even beer??” etc etc.

I was expecting people to like the hoppier beers best, but was pleased when most people chose the Smokin’ Bishop as their favorite (it was mine too). It was great to see people’s preconceptions about what they did and didn’t like challenged as well.  One friend said she didn’t like dark beers, then changed her mind when she got to the PKB, and another said he didn’t like fruit beer – then changed his mind when he drank the Boysenbeery. This is what LBC is all about!

Although it didn’t cause a huge stir, I thought the Bitter and Twisted was a really lovely drop. It had gentle citrus and stone fruit-flavoured hops, a definite yeast presence and just enough sweet malt to balance things out. It was dry and sparkling –  just the kind of thing to drink on a sunny afternoon. Or third in a fifteen-beer line-up.

Least favourite at the tasting was, unsurprisingly, the Lambic, although it did make for some wonderful faces. I forgot to take any pictures, but basically everyone looked like this:

#220 Buxton Gold

Name: Buxton Gold
Brewery: Buxton (Buxton, England)
Style: Golden Ale
ABV: 5.2%
Source: The Beer Store

Before I get on to talking about this beer, I just want to apologise to all those poor sods who have elected to get this blog via email. I realise that on ‘catch-up’ days like today your inbox gets flooded with posts, and believe me I feel like a real prick for spamming you.

Anyway, the Buxton Gold. I drank it last week while listening to a wonderful This American Life podcast about the original recipe for Coke, and I can tell you the combo was magical.

Because this was described as a “Golden Ale”, I was expecting it to be a bit boring. Style-ist I know. What I mean is, I didn’t expect it to have the delicious big, bold American (and Nelson, it turns out) hop flavour and full, malty body. It thought it was really an APA, shyly disguising itself as a Golden Ale.

Maybe it was the delicious beer, maybe it was my audio-crush on Ira Glass (yes, that is a thing), but for some reason I drank this way too quickly and then wished I had another bottle. I didn’t, and just had to settle for three more podcasts instead.

#217 Springhead – Roaring Meg

Name: Roaring Meg
Brewery: Springhead (Retford, England)
Style: Golden Ale
ABV: 5.5%
Source: The Beer Store

I would like to tell you that I’ve been without internet access for the past week – possibly because I’ve been on the moon or in North Korea – and that’s why I am a record seven days behind on posting.

But in fact I just got struck by lightning while abseiling from the Sky Tower and have spent the last week in a deep, unshakeable coma, waking for only 10 minutes each day to drink a beer.

Now that we have that out of the way, on to the Roaring Meg.

TBH, my memory of this is a little hazy, partly (mostly) because I drank it a week ago, but also because it didn’t stand out in any overly memorable way.

I remember honey and citrus, partly (mostly) because I read that on the bottle, but also they did seem to be there after it had been put into my head.

It was drinkable, had a nice sweetness and quite a light mouthfeel. An easy summer quaffer, but nothing to write home about. More of a Whistling Meg if you ask me.

#189 BrewDog – Trashy Blonde

Name: Trashy Blonde
Brewery: Brewdog (Aberdeen, Scotland)
Style: Blond Ale
ABV:4.1%
Source: The Beer Store

On Monday I came home from work to find the best thing ever waiting for me.

Was it a kitten? A surprise tax refund? My boyfriend with a candlelit dinner of Mac ‘n Cheese? No (although all of those things WOULD have been awesome) – it was a box of fancy beers from The Beer Store.

Dad saw me hit rock bottom a few posts back with that can of Gordon Finest Gold, and came to my rescue by ordering me 12 awesome beers online. They came with a card that said “The West is to share”, which I guess means Westvleteren only he forgot how to spell it.

Anyway, the Trashy Blonde was obviously a bit of a joke about me being trashy  blonde, but it turned out to be really nice as well as a bit funny.

It reminded me a little of a New Zealand Pale Ale – lots of tootie-fruity hops on the nose (you know the ones – passionfruit n citrus n flowers n that), a light malty sweetness in the mouth and a dry, bitter finish. It was fun and went down easy – which suits the name I s’pose…

What I really liked about this one is that it packed lots of punch while still only being 4.1%, meaning I could drink lots of it without actually getting all trashy. Always a bonus.

#181 Belhaven – Twisted Thistle IPA

Name: Twisted Thistle IPA
Brewery: Belhaven (Greene King)
Style: IPA
ABV: 5.3%
Source: Waiheke Wines

I’m going to have to rush this post as I’ve been writing all day and I am DYING for a beer, so ‘scuse the brevity/lazy writing…

Having had quite good experiences with British IPAs in the past (namely Fullers‘, which was delicious), and with Belhaven’s Wee Heavy, I probably had unrealistically high hopes for this one.

Were they realized? Not quite. This was actually really nice – fruity, resinous hops and a good balance of caramel malt, but it didn’t seem punchy enough for an IPA, and as my mum pointed out, the finish was quite short.

On the other hand, it was really quaffable, and if this had been called a Pale Ale rather than an IPA I might judge it differently, and blah blah blah… But I have to go!

*throws laptop to ground, sprints to fridge… 

#176 John Martin – Gordon Finest Gold

Couldn't get my photo off my camera!

Name: Gordon Finest Gold
Brewery: John Martin
Style: Belgian Strong Ale
ABV: 10%
Source: Te Aroha Countdown

OK, OK. I know what you’re thinking. First DB Export Dry, then Becks, and now whatever the hell this is. The blog is going downhill.

You’re absolutely right, it is, but I assure you we’ll be uphill very shortly (not in the next post though, the next one will be crap too) just as soon as I get out of the Coromandel.

I’m in Te Aroha at the moment, which is a rather lovely thermal town just a couple hours away from Auckland. And while it really is rather lovely (bush walks n mountains n that), the beer of choice is Waikato Draught and there isn’t much else on offer.

I was going to have a Waikato Draught, but then I just went to the supermarket and bought this strange thing instead.

I had one sip and then decided it wasn’t worth the hangover.  It was like someone had put 10 teaspoons of sugar and a shot of vodka into a Golden Ale, albeit a Belgian one with a little bit of fruit flavor. Possibly that sounds excellent to some people, but for me it was just a mess.

On the plus side, if you wanted to get drunk for $10 then two cans of this would do it. Also, it comes in a large yellow can so uhhhh… I guess it would always be easy to spot at parties??

#123 Belhaven – Wee Heavy

Name: Wee Heavy
Brewery: Belhaven (Greene King)
Style: Scotch Ale
ABV: 6.5%
Source: Greytown liquor store

Just had a very, very important beerpiphany, and it came to me in a word as soon as I took a sip of this Belhaven Wee Heavy.

Malt.

If I’m falling out of love with those super-hopped, saliva-stripping IPAs, then it’s probably because I’m falling in love with sticky, sweet, mouth-filling malt.

The Wee Heavy is a traditional Scotch Ale, and true to the style it is driven by malt, rather than hops. The result is something so wickedly indulgent, desserty and downright delicious that I’d defy anyone (even those weirdos that ‘don’t drink beer’) not to like it.

It smells like toffee and caramel and dark, sticky dried fruits – prunes, dates and raisins. It sounds cheesy – but it’s a smell that will make you smile, grin maniacally even, in the knowledge that you’re about to drink something truly pleasurable.

On the palate it’s every bit as sweet and delicious as the nose promises. The mouthfeel is fantastic – coating and buttery, but with enough carbonation to stop it from being cloying. At 6.5%, it’s also pretty boozy, which doesn’t exactly make things worse.

Honestly – everything about this beer will make you happy. It’s Christmas in a bottle.

Back, for a moment though, to IPAs – which I appear to have cast off a little hastily. I’m not actually over them – I love big hop aromas and I do enjoy some bitterness, I think I’m just going to be looking for a little more balance from now on. Some of those crazy West Coast IPAs are too bitter I think, but balanced IPAs (like Hop Zombie, Digital IPA, and Fullers IPA, to name a few) are just right for me.

Expect to see a lot more Scottish Ales, and malty beers is general on the blog for the next… I don’t know. Until I have another beerpiphany and fall in love with yeast, I suppose.

#112 Fullers – India Pale Ale

Name: India Pale Ale
Brewery: Fullers (London, England)
Style: India Pale Ale
ABV: 5.%
Source: Regional Wines (Wellington)

I like the idea of beer and food matching (who wouldn’t? Beer and food are awesome!), but I must confess it’s not something I put much effort into at home.

This is because I try to only drink one beer each day, and by the time dinner is ready that beer is usually nothing more than a sticky residue in my glass.

However, last night was once of the rare occasions where I actually managed to wait until dinner to have my beer and I pulled out a match that I thought was a bit clever: Kedgeree and English IPA.

You see, kedgeree was a dish that British Colonials ate for breakfast in India, and IPA was a beer that British Colonials in India were sent to drink. Therefore, they had to be perfect together, right?

The Fullers India Pale Ale is a classic example of the style. I know this because when I Wiki’d IPA (who says I don’t do my research!) there was a picture of Fullers IPA on the page. This and the fact that it’s made with English malts and hops and what not convinced me that it was definitely the right choice for my Anglo-Indian pairing.

In the end I don’t really know, because the kedgeree was pretty bad. I overdid it on the Garam Masala and it was a bit like licking a spice shop floor. The Fullers IPA on the other hand was quite nice indeed.

Once I got the spice shop out of my mouth and could actually taste it, I got generous helpings of caramelly, buttery malt, up against juicy citrus hops with a hint of pine. It didn’t have as much bite as the NZ and American IPA’s I’ve had recently, but there was enough bitterness at the finish to balance things out. It was like eating chocolate in bed, you know? Soft and comfortable, but still a little bit exciting.

PS : In case anyone doesn’t know what Kedgeree is – it’s a rice dish made with smoked fish, parsley, spices, egg, and a few other bits and pieces. It’s usually pretty delicious (so long as I’m not cooking it), and looks a bit like this:

#81 BrewDog – Punk IPA

Name: Punk IPA
Brewery: Brewdog (Aberdeenshire, Scotland)
Style: IPA
ABV: 6%
Source: Brew on Quay (Auckland)

Yesterday, (under the misguided impression that Epic’s new Flying Nun beer would be on tap), I headed down to Brew on Quay to mark the end of the working week with a pint.

Because it was actually Epic’s regular ol’ Pale Ale that was pouring (for just $6.50 a pint!), and because I’d already ticked that one off the list, I went for this Punk IPA from Brewdog instead. I’d had one beer from these guys before, the Hardcore IPA, and I remember thinking that one was ridiculously good.

It poured a slightly hazy amber and had a frothy white head which lasted quite well. It smelled to me like an APA – by which I mean citrussy American hops (grapefruit & pine), and a real treacley/golden syrupy malt. I may have been a bit off with this interpretation though, because I see the brewery (and the ratebeer crowd) describe aromas of lychee, kiwi and passionfruit. I’m not sure…

It tasted similar, but with a really noticeable cereal flavour as well. I actually wrote down ‘Chex’ which is an American cereal that I had once when I was about 9 and for some reason it keeps popping up in my beers – but I think Luke (he was there for the cheap pints of Epic ) described it more accurately when he said it was grainy. It also had a nice citrusy bite and a dry, lightly bitter finish.

I definitely enjoyed the punk, but much prefer it’s bigger, bolder brother – Hardcore IPA. This one is more sessionable I guess, but that other one is just such a pleasure to drink.

The one problem I had with this beer – and it doesn’t really matter but I’m going to say it anyway, was the description on the label. It just seemed a bit obvious and smarmy and not very punk somehow… Especially that line in red:

“This is not a lowest common denominator beer. This is an aggressive beer. We don’t care if you don’t like it. We do not merely aspire to the proclaimed heady heights of conformity through neutrality or blandness. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste of the sophistication to appreciate the depth, character and quality of this premium craft beer. You probably don’t even care that this rebellious beer contains no preservatives and uses only the finest natural ingredients. Just go back to drinking your mass marketed, bland, cheaply made watered down lager, and close the door behind you”.

It’s a good beer… Just let it speak for itself I say!

*closes door behind her*

#52 BrewDog – Hardcore IPA

Name: Hardcore IPA
Brewery: BrewDog (Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire, Scotland)
Style: Imperial IPA
ABV: 9.2%
Source: The Beer Store

Last night I sat down at my computer after drinking this beer and wrote four words: “Oh God. So strong,” before abandoning the post to have a lie-down.

It shows I’m a bit of a wuss because 9.2% isn’t really that strong – not when you consider that this same brewery has made the world’s strongest beer ever. It’s called The End of History and it’s a whopping 55 percent -  stronger than most whiskey! And as if that’s not batshit crazy enough, get this:

“Only 12 bottles have been made and each comes with its own certificate and is presented in a stuffed stoat or grey squirrel. The striking packaging was created by a very talented taxidermist and all the animals used were road kill. “  – from the BrewDog website.

I don’t know even know what to say about that… except that I WANT ONE. Seriously, what would be better to have as my 365th beer than one that’s called “The End of History” and would require me to kiss roadkill?

Anyway, it’s not going to happen because of the whole only-twelve-in-the-world thing and the fact that it’s also the world’s most expensive beer. Hmph.

But back to last night’s beer, which was obviously quite strong enough for me anyway…

It poured a golden orange colour which was hazy with heaps of sediment all through it. The sediment wasn’t sinking to the bottom either – it was just sat there (as the English would say) like it was set in jelly.

It smelled really good. Juicy and sweet, with orange and pine hops and strong malt.

The taste took me completely by surprise, much sweeter, maltier, more syrupy than I was expecting (now I know why that sediment wasn’t moving), and then citrusy bitterness, a dry finish, and and warm alcohol heat as it travelled down my throat. It was solid, interesting and enjoyable every step of the way, and as a result I drank it way too quickly.  

This is definitely a beer to be careful with, which is why I was amused to hear that The Malthouse have got four kegs of it to put on for the Quarter-Finals weekend. Best of luck to them!